Dreaming

     You know when you have a dream and it seems so real....that's what happened to me just this morning. It was the best dream in my entire life and I'll tell you why. Even though I have had multiple "real" dreams throughout the years this is the very FIRST time I have ever had a baby in my dream.  I have had a lot of pregnant dreams and birthing dreams but never one where I saw and held my baby. It always stopped before that point. Not this morning.....

     It started out at my Nanny's (Grandma) house.  My parents live with them as well as my little sister.  Jon (my Husband) was at work and I was visiting for the day. It was a normal visit until I started having horrible stomach cramps. I refused to go to the doctor and decided I would go lay down in my sisters room and she was gonna keep me company. And for what ever reason there was an extra bed in her room. That's the one I laid on.  Very soon after I told her to get my mom...something was wrong. My mom comes in just as a gush of water comes out! Ummmmm....WHAT THE HECK! It turns out Im giving birth and I didn't even know I was pregnant. We had had a few ultrasounds (doing fertility treatments) and the doctors never saw anything. After a few months we stopped the treatments to take a break.  I didn't look pregnant and had none of the symptoms. 

     So my mom helps me as I labor and I give birth to to beautiful little boy. 8 pounds 15 ounces, 20 inches long. (I have no idea why my sister had a baby scale in her room). I name him Myles (I HAVE NO CLUE WHY!!!! This is my nephews name...we have a name picked out that's completely different). This little boy just amazes me. Since we aren't prepared mom and I give him a bath and then I feed him. He breastfeeds without a problem and I can't stop crying tears of joy. I know we need to get to the hospital and get checked out but we don't have any way of getting there. We don't have a  car seat!  So my mom calls my uncle who lives down the road and he goes to Walmart and buys one for us. He also got a thing of diapers, wipes, and some clothes for my little miracle.  Once he gets to the house and we get into the car....I wake up. 

     I just laid in bed for a few minutes trying not to cry. The first time I have ever seen and held my baby in my dreams....it tore me up.  I know we are on a break for the next year and a half and I'm okay with that now. But when I have a dream like this is makes me want to change our plans. I want more than anything to be a mother. Is it ever going to happen? I don't even care if it happens like in my dream! As long as I get to have a child.