Work...

       Well, I have gone back to work full time. I didn't want to but its where God wanted me to go. Luckily Jon and I both work at the same place and we are on the same shift. Right now there is a bunch of mandatory overtime (I'm hating it but the pay check is good) and I feel like I don't have time for anything.  I'm still trying to get used to working hard for 8 hours straight too. I forgot what its like to be this tired all the time. I'm sort of thankful for the overtime because that means we will be able to save the money we need for the IVF procedure quicker then expected! :-) It's still going to be a long 30 weeks but I hope it goes by fast.

       The past couple of weeks have been good.   Since we are doing any fertility treatments right now I get to enjoy just living for awhile.  And so far my hormones are being "normal" and not acting up.  I was bummed that my period didn't show up like I was hoping it would...because that would mean my body was doing what it was made for.  But alas....no period and no pregnancy.  I'm not saddened by the fact because I know God has a plan and so far no one else has announced a pregnancy.  I know by the end of our break a few of my friends probably will and on those days I will be sad and heartbroken.  But that to will pass and I will keep holding onto God's promises for my life.  

     Take care and God Bless!

Music

       Today has been a really rough day and its only 3pm.  I woke up feeling good and then it all went downhill from there.  I was trying to get our taxes done and we needed an extra paper from the college where Jon was taking classes last spring.  I tried calling Jon and of course his phone was on silent and I couldn't get ahold of him.  That made me upset and then everything just came pouring through the floodgates I had put up.  I had allowed myself to cry a little bit about having to take a break and the financial needs but I guess it wasn't enough. Thankfully Jon forgives me and always makes me feel loved and valued after my meltdowns. Now that he has gone to work I've cried some more and now I'm listening to music.

       Music has been one of my ways to de-stress, cry it all out, and keep on keeping on. Here are my favorite songs that really made a difference for me over the last few months and still continue to do so.

       My favorite song and my current #1 is Need You Now.  The lyrics are exactly what I feel. I can sing along with the song and it allows me to let it out and to cry out to God because I do need Him now. I do need the strength to just keep breathing because sometimes even that is to much to try and do on my own.
Need You Now - Plumb

All I Need - Within Temptation

All This Time - Britt Nicole

Always - Plumb

Be Still - The Fray

Down - Jason Walker & Molly Reed

Echo - Jason Walker

Hanging On - Britt Nicole

Held - Natalie Grant

How Great Is Our God - Chris Tomlin

I Will Lift My Eyes - Bebo Norman

I Will Rise - Chris Tomlin

Jesus Hold Me Now - Casting Crowns

Jesus Messiah - Chris Tomlin

One Thing Remains - Kristian Stanfill

Only One - Alex Band

Quiet You With My Love - Rebecca St James

Rest In The Hope - Karyn Williams

Shackles - Mandisa

Stronger - Mandisa

When A Heart Breaks - Ben Rector

Worn - Tenth Avenue North

You Never Let Go - Matt Redman

       This is the playist I use when Im upset. Some of the songs make me cry even harder then I already am but others lift my heart to God. I need them both. Most of these I have found on my own but a few were shared with me by some very special people in my life and it amazes me that they thought of me when they heard the song.
       I'm feeling much better now that I've listened to all the songs while I linked them here on my blog. I hope you all enjoy them as well.
       God is good :-)